perhaps its not our time

crap, i get emo once again.

yet not seeing you for quite awhile dont hurt me at all. im not joking. but when i hear news about you i go "i dont care". but its true. perhaps its not our time. just when we get all mushy and wipy i look out and see this person not meant to be for me. too far away now. remember i said "you dont know how low i got to be near you"; "you dont know how i sacrificed a lot of things just to be near you"; "how i gave up everything for you"; "yet you dont care about anything at all". maybe you've read all ive sent you but then you might have not read it. when i saw you two days ago i knew there was something you meant to say to me but then things just aint fit to do so. when i passed you by i knew you meant to open your mouth to say something to me yet you never did. perhaps its not our time yet. perhaps, maybe i must let go. move on. move away.

and im planning to do so. gibberish. i know i cant. do you know my favorite line? "find me someone else this person, find me someone else that person" and they say "yeah i know this person, yes i know that person and e'd be really fit for you". "do you want this type of person, do you like that type of person". haha. cliche. i reply: "yeah maybe id like to know this person, give me that persons number and maybe ill send an sms".

crap.

maybe ill just go back to who i was before. and then forget about everything that happened when everything fell into place when we met. actually we never met. now i wonder.

despite that, i still care.

crap.

maybe ill go drinking my way home tonight. maybe ill go drunk and slap everybody, yell at everybody and then maybe youd notice me saying out your name.

maybe i wont. because i dont.

crap.