Self-Review/Introspect/Autoscan

(*Mirror breaking) A nice break from all this brouhaha would be to stare at yourself at the mirror, just like what I did. And it broke. Shit. As I pick up the pieces of broken glass I notice I look better looking at myself in broken pieces rather than the whole mirror. Does this mean anything? Hopefully not. Hopefully yes. But I wish mirrors would reflect not only light but sound as well. Because when I said that cussing word it felt like someone else was speaking instead of me. Another person. As I reflect(*reflect lagi) on the previous shots of myself from past times, it felt weird to look at someone who looks too dissimilar to the one I'm looking at the broken shards of glass.

Another thing. It worries me that those who lost people seem to be happy of what has come. And I, someone who purportedly has it all, seem like deprived of everthing. Maybe I am just too showy. And they are not. Unfair. Cyd worries me because she should act as if the world has fallen down at her, yet she seems as if nothing has happened. And I try to console her with every emphatic sentence I learned from work:
"I'm sorry for your loss"
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience"
"I'm sure there is something we can do about it"
"Let me try to determine your support options"(woot!)
Maybe I am just too paranoid about it. I am paranoid. Fact. Undeniable.

Next week I will change. For the umpteenth time. I always say that. I hope I do. Maybe I need someone who can "sagpa" me in the face, "dapog" my lower back, "larot" my nape hair. But that specific someone never visits my site. Never, not even when I say so. "Lagot" is not what I feel, but "inis". Busy, we both work now. Far away, our lives are. Stupid, the things I dream to happen.

Maybe all this brouhaha is just the perfect recipe for breaking a mirror without even touching it. Try it. It could work you know.