Ang Aso Kong Panget!

Si Masungit! baw
Arte mo! baw
Swapang ka bah? Baw
Ako, cute! Baw
Panget ka! Baw
Ano ako? Aso? Bawawaw
Pero...
Type ko yang si... Bawawaw

Eto In-edit ko na!

O sige na nga... Cute na kung cute!

Mey Iniisip

IKAW

Self-Review/Introspect/Autoscan

(*Mirror breaking) A nice break from all this brouhaha would be to stare at yourself at the mirror, just like what I did. And it broke. Shit. As I pick up the pieces of broken glass I notice I look better looking at myself in broken pieces rather than the whole mirror. Does this mean anything? Hopefully not. Hopefully yes. But I wish mirrors would reflect not only light but sound as well. Because when I said that cussing word it felt like someone else was speaking instead of me. Another person. As I reflect(*reflect lagi) on the previous shots of myself from past times, it felt weird to look at someone who looks too dissimilar to the one I'm looking at the broken shards of glass.

Another thing. It worries me that those who lost people seem to be happy of what has come. And I, someone who purportedly has it all, seem like deprived of everthing. Maybe I am just too showy. And they are not. Unfair. Cyd worries me because she should act as if the world has fallen down at her, yet she seems as if nothing has happened. And I try to console her with every emphatic sentence I learned from work:
"I'm sorry for your loss"
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience"
"I'm sure there is something we can do about it"
"Let me try to determine your support options"(woot!)
Maybe I am just too paranoid about it. I am paranoid. Fact. Undeniable.

Next week I will change. For the umpteenth time. I always say that. I hope I do. Maybe I need someone who can "sagpa" me in the face, "dapog" my lower back, "larot" my nape hair. But that specific someone never visits my site. Never, not even when I say so. "Lagot" is not what I feel, but "inis". Busy, we both work now. Far away, our lives are. Stupid, the things I dream to happen.

Maybe all this brouhaha is just the perfect recipe for breaking a mirror without even touching it. Try it. It could work you know.

The Songs That Fill The Void

Like I could listen to one song for the whole night. I could never do that. Songs for me are like moods. Whatever mood I am in, whatever song is playing in my head. And like songs, my moods last for as long as songs do. Somebody told me: "Mo, dili jud ko ka kuha sa imong aura, bisag unsaon nako wala koy makuha. Unpredictable lang gihapon." He's right. Maybe I'm best at hiding my thoughts, better yet my aura. I could be so jovial at times yet I could be so melancholic at most times. For the past week I felt myself contented with listening to the songs that play from my player. When I wake up I listen to:

Its You, Its Me by Kaskade
Selfish by Sunset Daze
Get It Together by India Arie
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
Ever After by Bonnie Bailey

These songs fill me with inspiration to go on with the day. These are mellow yet prompt you to rise and do something good, for a change.
Lunch for me is sometimes at six in the evening, or twelve midnight. And most songs that flutter my ears are:

Happy by Ashanti
Im Real by Jennifer Lopez feat Ja Rule
Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz
Control Myself by LL Cool J feat Jennifer Lopez
Say Something by Mariah Carey feat Snoop Dogg

As you can see, most of these songs are upbeat songs, songs that make put focus on beats other than lyrics. I don't mind the lyrics, just the beats that make my soul feel bumping. Laughs.

And what about dinner? I never have dinner. I just am content with nothing. As if someone is. I am. Maybe that is the reason why I never get fat, or fit.

Other songs?

Point of View by DB Boulevard
We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
What Can I Do by The Corrs
For You I Will by Teddy Geiger
and lots more...
These songs may be cheezy or unfit for a guy but hey, these are the songs that ring me.
Hope they ring everyone else too. :)

Ang Inamaw Nga Plano Ni Imok

Plano: OPLAN Alis Cebu/Alis Red AHT/Welcome K750i

Ay sus batia sa akong week oy. Feel gud nako malas kay: for one, wa ko ka-reach sa ako AHT goal. Syet limang kag 1 second nalang yellow na unta ko ngyawa! Red man lang gihapon. Cge lang maybe next tym I will reach yellow, even white. Jargon ni basta pasagda-i ang masulob-on og kinutlo. For two, wa nako mapalit ang akong dream phone this week. Mabaw ra? Naa pa. Next pa nako mapalit. Gusto pa mo? Nagpalit nalang kog MP3 player for this week. For three, murag hanap man ang paglaom nga madayon mi sa Panglao this Monday woist. Gaulan, gadag-om , gahilak ang kalangitan dahil wala ko mopalit og vitamins moo nang luspad lang gihapon ko. Gugma man cguroy pinaka tambal ani. Charing!
Another thing, syet kagamay sa akong sweldo woist, botoy jud akong bulsa ani inig next week bah. Mo-last long ba nako ang nahabilin nga 6k for two weeks? Inamaw. Di sakto, tag sais pesos lagi. Asa mang hustisa ani.
Praning. Ngippert. Mugna-mugna. Ayaw pag-boot, kay wala ka ka-abroad!
Perfect!!!

Schizo Right Beside Me, At My Left

I hope all the plans that I have are gonna come true:

1. Panglao next week with my team mates at work. Sana mey mangyaring scandalous! Anywayz beach naman yun so malamang. Between Mojo and Krism? Talaga!
2. Sheesha with Neil and whoever wants to come along. Coz' it looks so cool, I can only imagine myself looking like a god from ancient Hindu mythology puffing large amounts of smoke. Bwahahaha!
3. Puerto Galera with Natnat this mid-August. One-on-one para walang istorbo! No one is to come along para mey mangyari! I dunno, maybe we're gonna change plans to Boracay.
4. Speaking of Boracay, maybe this sem break with Socy and everybody. We are gonna go there as a group and leave as individuals, survivors!!! Evil intentions? Nope, Mabuhay ang di marunong lumangoy!
5. Quad-Bike or Scooter or Motorcycle? Still haven't decided but anywayz I will buy one of those within this year. I get so frustrated now with not being able to ride a jeepney immediately.

I'll just keep updating this para people will know...

Another Newly Discovered Something-Something

Depends on the mood, on which I am not on today, I scour for unintended tantrums.
Stupid questions, stupid answers. And yet I find myself quite unfamiliar with ugly people. Inside and out. Yesterday was a day for crumpled bed sheets, painful wake-me-ups, and tasteless cigarettes. And it was also a day for having no loose change. Takes me awhile to get used to this kind of lifestyle but I'm getting the hang of it. Six pesos per ride would be ok, but if the necessity arises, pay sixty bucks to get there at exactly the same duration. Dammit. Why does it have to be like that? Why do things turn out the way you expect it? I hate that. Because I expect things to turn out reverse direction. Good luck to me.
And then the newly discovered something-something...
Slaps you in the face so hard you feel dizzy. Catching you off guard so unhandedly you trip over. There right across me. And I'm so damn smoking. Wishing for permission, the eyes seem to do. They say yes, I believe. And turns away. Sh*t! Of all the reactions why does it have to be that way? Why for me? It could be for another guy. No, not for me. So the tactic to catch the attention arises. I approach to a person so near, I said: "How're you? I saw you yesterday with this guy. What were you doing together?"
The reply: "Nah, we were just hangin out. Had a few bottles of beer. Why didn't you approach me? I could have gone with you. It was so damn boring. Had nothing to do then. You're so "arte" you never approached me and could have taken me away from that decrepit place."
The reaction to this reply: "Really? I'm so sorry. Next time I see you I will approach you."

What a f*cking lousy answer! So damn stupid Zeus could have gone haywire over me. And this is all because of the cigarettes. Shouldn't have had them so early in the morning. So stupid.
Resolution: No cigarettes after shift. Period.

The 3 o'clock Syndrome

All right, my shift starts at eight. But before that I have to set up my tools like ten minutes before I clock in. Good luck to me, I'm part of the opening shift. Like I get the first few people who have issues, I mean "issues".
By the time I have my first 15-minute break, I'm a bit dizzy from the calls. It is not easy listening to people's problems, you don't even know them yet they come to you for help. And the hard part is, you have to take them somewhere to get their problem solved. It would be better if you would be able to solve their problem right there and then. It would give you a sense of achievement, a sense of fulfilment.
Midnight arrives, I take my lunch. I'm not dizzy anymore, I'm drunk. Drunk of all the problems people have, drunk from all the information coming into my head, and drunk most of all from the information coming out of my head.
And the hardest part comes. The 3 o'clock syndrome. What happens on the 3 o'clock syndrome? I get booted out of my cubicle. I have nothing to do. I get to stay on the coffee lounge, thinking about all the problems I handled, thinking if I have taken them to the proper places. That's what bums me the most. Dammit.
Good thing I have my cigarette, my coffee mug, my lighter. And the fresh mountain breeze. It suits me well amidst all the pressure. Then I won't have to worry no more.

Two Nights Ago

never heard of you. don't talk to me. pretty much the things i said to somebody. i hurt someone. way different than before. maybe i hated too much. i must forgive. eew

two nights ago i got the time of my life. spent like two or three hours with that person and it really got me on highs. druggy you might consider but the hell

my body clock is all messed up. i mean its typical of me to be dripping saliva all over my bed for almost half the day but now i always seem to stand up automatically after five or less hours of sleep

dammit i stepped on someone's(not the same person on the first part) pride last night. to badmouth people is just nothing to me but now i realize it really is bad. duh

Losing People

I will miss Anuy. He introduced me to the wave. He was a person to talk to. Without apprehension. I realized thru Anuy that being perverted is not a bad thing, if you're not a virgin that is.
I will miss Tere. She understood me for my smoking habits. She taught me that people can really achieve when set your mind to it. Good luck with Aira. Have fun with her til it lasts.
I will miss Ate Anne. Never ran out of goodies inside her big pink bag. Will miss you for your big Spongebob hanky. With you exiting means no more food! Waaaa...
I will miss Orlie. Funny antics, gentleman at heart, role model father. You are so lucky to have a wonderful daughter. Will miss your talks about your 200 plus dogs. Someday I will hunt you. To buy a dog that is.

Drowsiness and Mood Swings

I'm having trouble controlling myself. Drowsiness really gets to me about 3 am and its not welcome. And suddenly after 4 its totally gone. Weird. Yes, weird as it may seem to me but its not for everybody else, not for any normal person.
Mood swings aren't welcome either. I mean in my kind of lifestyle any simple glitch in my system could really turn around the direction of my day. I mean it. Now it seems everybody at home just talks to me for the sake of. The sake of.
I may take it casually because they don't see much of me often. But deep inside it really does matter if they could just approach me with a simple inquiry of how work was, how my life goes by, I am self-centered I guess. But my life revolves around others. Kinda ironic.
Take me as I look and I am mean. Take me as I speak and think of others and I am totally insatiable. Take me as I am then you are mistaken.
Take me as I take you.

For Nows

Well I passed my MSV's tho the feeling is weird when u lose people. C'mon guys, staying in one room for nine hours for two weeks with twenty people does create bonds like tight. Sad to say I'm moving on without three of them, but hey! It's not the end of the world for them, I mean life has so much in store for them and once a door closes, windows open.
Next week for me, I think, is gonna be just a breeze. My first week as a solo floor agent will really test my multitasking skills but as with I've seen with the agents on the floor, it's pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I hope I get really good AHT's, I mean handling times, so I won't be forced to go on leave(shucks!).
Yesterday I had my left ear pierced. Finally. After so many years at oggling at people, especially guys my age, having their bodies pierced just about everwhere, I finally found something to suit me. Altho this is as far as I would go to embed something into my body, for now this is enough.
Finally I've had enough of Gudang's and DJ Mix's. I'm content with the reliable Marlboro Menthol for now. Next payday. I'm gonna try Cubans!

Newly Discovered Something Something

I came home late in the morning(how could that be?) and found out that it was a holiday. Of course I knew it beforehand, but wasn't expecting people would be at home. Maybe because I was setting things into my mind, like I have MSV's and one ISV coming up tonight. I really should have practiced wi-jacking on some veteran agents but then I presumed they were going to teach rather un-standard(?maybe improper) practices rather than the proper ones.

But then something caught my eye. It was there all along. I went through many hardships, many people went and gone, and still I haven't found solace. Duh, I said to myself. It was 18 years before me, I should have known. Eighteen years and I was so stupid for not realizing it until this morning. It was a "Something Something". Or a person. There all along, looking across me. Duh, I said to myself again.

Maybe I'm just overworking my thoughts. Maybe I am. Weird as it may seem, I get the mutual feeling towards me. And we're in the exact same situation. I guess, I hope.

I'm not yet ready for "Something Something". I know the history, I'm apprehending bad things to come, but as usual, its always "Something Something".

He really is sometihng

I admit

I was just not expecting other things

Oh my god I gasped... Her third Roland Garros and she's confirmed as the best woman clay court player at present. As usual, I was rooting for Sharapova but no, Safina put her on bay. Then I was rooting for Clijsters anyway but well, she even admitted Henin was just so far the best on clay.

Drizzling Sunshine All Over Hell

I just realized i'm really lucky...
Aside from the fact that I got a job that requires alot of patience,
perseverance,
and a whole lot of coffee,
I got myself a whole new wonderful experience!



If this were your typical Spongebob, you'd be really sure you're not in hell,
just drizzling sunshine all over hell...

Transmogrified

I felt this since I woke up
Maybe because of the fact that things never changed at all
I did
And it scared me
The most because I never woke up from that nightmare
The most because I will never wake up from reality
Im changed
I wish to remain the same
But I can't
I'm Transmogrified...

tsk tsk tsk

hmm this has been the 3rd ive been logging in n out from the site
i cant decide on what shud i do
shud i post?
maybe not
but i did anyhowz
for the nth time ive been browsing my friendlist on friendster
maybe im just looking for something
or someone
nahh
i better pick something
to be safe
i have this weird feeling that im not alone
duh
read: (STUPID)
im in a cafe
re-read: (STUPIDER) if there is such a word
tsk tsk tsk

kinutlo sa huna-huna sa praning

i felt left out
it seems no one remembers me
maybe they do but they intentionally erase me from their thoughts
ay ambot kaha kung ngano
bati siguro ko og dagway
yati ra

tomorrow i might be dead
hala jud mo
basta di lagi ko mahinumduman
i will haunt you

i hope i open up naman sad
para people tend not to forget me often
attention-seeker man siguro ko
maghilak akong adlaw if im not talked to

but most times mas ganahan ko di tagdon
sakit sad na nako
yati ra
pak oi